Authentic kindness

All the qualifications in the world do not make someone a good coach or therapist. Equally someone with no training or life skills I would be highly wary about. I noticed a new app for well-being set up by someone who had no training and had just been to see a therapist for a while herself. There are many worrying solutions and courses on the internet and many succeed because of  arrogance, having or being a computer wizard, money backing and marketing expertise, not because of the quality of the coach/therapist.Finding an authentic person to talk to is part of the process of trusting yourself and your intuition when you think it has gone askew, which it may have done. If you don’t trust the person and continue with them then how can healing happen? Unfortunately for many of us it is often too late and we have lost ourselves, our intuition and in searching endlessly for someone or some new fad to help us we can open ourselves up to those who,in pretending to heal us can cause us great harm; despite their long list of qualifications or also their absolutelack of them.

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Creativity is not the same as mental ill health, I heard a Professor of psychology say today. Creatives are decision makers and manage their creativity for production; whereas the mentally ill can not do that, he explained. Well firstly I don’t think it is that black and white many of us can oscillate between the two and secondly this, yet again, sounds like we are blaming the individual; putting the responsibility of mental ill health on to those not strong enough to find a place for their creativity in society. Lucky those few that society has enabled and allowed to fulfil their creativity,  they are not usually working class, women or ethnic minorities. And even if they are for every one there are thousands of creatives who have not been supported and have been rejected and dis-enabled by the society they live in; it is not there fault that they can not manage their time and talents and not their fault because they are not organised or dedicated enough. A lot of it is whether the establishment and dominant ideology allows you in either because you perpetuate the status quo or you are a token challenger of it: filling a quota to make it look like we are a fair and just society. Is this what he thinks about all mentally ill people, that it is their fault. Certainly his treatment will be very worrying, and lots of people with mental ill health issues will not have a choice to reject him, or someone like him, once they are within the NHS mental health system. The very last thing anyone with a mental health illness needs is more guilt and pressure disguised as healing and compassion when they need support and understanding to find their place in this world.

I wonder when some Psychiatrists that have abused people, physically and mentally will be brought to justice. What we need now is compassion not condescension.

Thankfully there is a movement of psychologists and psychiatry who are taking seriously through research and working with an understanding of society and environment and the way it impacts on our mental health and its affects on: those with low incomes, unemployed, living on inner city estates, poor education and schooling, single parents, alcoholism…..

Good news for those, and there are many, who can not afford  private counselling and are at the mercy of psychiatry within the NHS.

 

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